A Former Intern’s Life Lessons

Dear Sons & Daughters,

OK, I repent…so many of you have told me to start blogging again…thanks…I guess!

Below is a short outline that Sam Duerden shared after Interning here at Stone Creek for about a year. We asked him to share in a staff meeting what he learned.

Life Lessons Gained While Serving as an Intern at Stone Creek

The Power of Friendliness
It costs nothing to be friendly and yet at times we act as though it costs everything. Friendliness has nothing to do with the culture you were brought up in, or what you have experienced in life. It is a choice and has everything to do with your attitude. I learnt this valuable lesson as I observed the lives of the most infectious leaders I have ever encountered. I watched as they, with their enthusiasm for life and friendliness, transformed the whole atmosphere of a room, a restaurant, even a college, At first I put it down to their nationality; the exuberant American, while I ‘the reserved Brit’ sat back and watched. It was as if we had both watched the film snow white, they had decided to play the part of ‘happy’, while I had chosen ‘grumpy’. Then it dawned on me, friendliness is not related to nationality or culture, but representative of Jesus himself. Jesus was nicknamed ‘the friend of sinners’ (Matthew 11:19), it was meant to be a criticism, yet it was one of the greatest compliments ever paid. He was the friend to those shunned, rejected, and looked down upon. People wanted to be around him, they flocked to Him, why? In part because of His commitment to friendliness.

The Power of Assertiveness
Pride is the enemy of assertiveness. It is pride that holds us back. We often wait for others to: make the first move, initiate the conversation, introduce themselves, or something as little as; say hello. Assertiveness means different things to different people, some see it as forcefulness or confidence. Let me give you my own working definition: taking the initiative out of someone else’s hands, and placing it in your own. During my time at Stone Creek, I learned the principle of ‘I’ll do it’. I’ll say hello, I’ll make that person feel welcome, I’ll shake their hand, I’ll introduce myself. I saw this in action, and observed how powerful this principle is. It opens doors for you, helps you build relationships, encourages others, and helps strike a blow against your pride. In short it helps you get over yourself. I love the story of Zacchaeus in Luke 19. It shows us an example of assertiveness. Jesus seeks him out, he does not wait for Zacchaeus to come and find him. Jesus grabs hold of initiative, and in doing so transforms a life. Sometimes we have to step out, so that God can step in.

The Power of the Father & Son relationship
Before my internship, I can honestly say I had never seen an example of healthy relationships between leaders in a church setting. The churches I had been apart of were torn apart by power struggles, and ego maniacs. All that was about to change. I had nearly given up hope that people could maintain healthy relationships in the leadership arena. However, I witnessed first hand, the positive effect good relationships can have. The senior leader Gary Gorgan and his youth/children’s pastor Ricky Spindler had developed and effectively modeled for me the Father and Son relationship. In this, I saw a genuine love and care, as they; supported, prayed, and honored each other. For me it was a reflection of Jesus’ own Father and Son relationship. Jesus knew what it was to live as a Son, to follow commands, whilst living in submission and servant hood. Out of that understanding he was able to call others to follow him and keep his commands (John 15:9). Each example was birthed out of genuine love, and it is one I intend to follow. People often want authority but are not willing to come under it. If you want to be a father, you must first learn how to be a son.

The Power of Work
Life, ministry, and success, does not one day just magically happen. Yet I often live with the elusion that it does. I will not just wake up one day and be the man, husband, or leader I want to be. The church will not be what I dream it to be, the vision will not just work itself out. The great part about doing an internship at a successful church is that you get to peek behind the senses. And during my peek, I saw just how much time, effort, and energy goes into turning vision from a nice thought into reality. There is a daily grind to life and it is no different in ministry. God does not do all the work, but blesses those who are willing to put the work in. We read stories in the Bible like the angel Gabriel visiting Zechariah to tell him of his part in the first Christmas, and we get excited about the thought of an angelic visitation and get caught up in extraordinary act. But we miss a key point. Before the visit scripture tells us of Zechariah “Once when he was serving as a priest before God…” (Luke 1:8). In other words he’d done this before. He was a man who worked, a man who ‘turned up’. God works the extraordinary out in the midst of the ordinary. We do our part He does is, and it requires: WORK.